Thoughts before I begin my last semester of College

Five years ago when I first moved into the Dorms at Elmhurst College I didn't know what awaited me. Like most my age (17) I didn't know how to properly control the sudden surge of freedom that came with living on campus. I always skipped class and I barely left my room because I was afraid to meet new people. The first few weeks I made a few friends but it wasn't until well into my first semester that I truly broke out of my shell. I joined SAGE which was Straights and Gays for Equality and I quickly fit into their org. I credit them with making my Elmhurst Experience the best it could be. That first year I absolutely adored being away from home and being able to be who I am, a proud gay man. Up until that point in my life only one individual knew about my sexuality and he helped me more than he knows. Anyway entering into my second year at Elmhurst I was a member of SAGE, A member of Elmhurst College's Union Board, I was a Teacher's Aide for the Elmhurst Life Skills Academy, I was also thinking about pledging into a frat. I had a wonderful year ahead of me, and I saw nothing but blue skies in my future. Until I became the victim of a hate crime. Many of my friends at Northeastern don't know why I left but I guess after reading this they will. I wasn't physically bashed but verbally. None the less I was hurt, my entire year was crushed and yes I was angry as hell at the person who hurt me. I never stopped smiling despite being bruised on the inside. I hid my pain and that pain became too much to handle when my verbal assaulter assaulted me again. It broke my spirit, and I thought I would never feel the way I did before all of that. As I look back on my past two and a half years at NEIU I realize that I do have that feeling again. I love NEIU, but I especially love the students and the orgs which made that feeling come back. The GLBTQA this year has been my baby and although I had to resign from my position as president early I know that I did the best I could do at the moment. I also have tremendous faith in my then VP who is moving up to replace me. As I look at all I have accomplished this semester I am brought to tears at how wonderful this year has been to me. I have made many friendships some of which will last forever. But now in a matter of five months I will be graduating from NEIU and that chapter in the story of my life will be ending but another one will be opening and I am positive that my blue skies will be around for a while.

Pantoum of a rejected soul

It was a party to signify the beginning of the summer. Two lovers entwined like vines.One of them a loner, a dreamer who wrote stories about love. The other a social butterfly who knew how to get what he wanted.Their worlds were different, yet on this night and many others they formed into one. A magical quality floated through the moan filled air. However, tomorrow they won't know each other. One of them a loner, a dreamer who wrote stories about love. The other a social butterfly who knew how to get what he wanted.The social butterfly speaks of love, and how they are destined to be togetherhowever, tomorrow they won't know each otherThe loner wanted love, but somehow never found itThe social butterfly speaks of love, and how they are destined to be togetherThe loner waited patiently while the butterfly came to terms with his sexualitythe loner wanted love but somehow never found itthe social butterfly never saw how pained the Loner was by his constant rejectionThe loner waited patiently while the butterfly came to terms with his sexualityHe couldn't wait any longer and that's why he decided to take the razor across his wrist.The social butterfly never saw how pained the Loner was by his constant rejection.The next day at school they learned of his suicide.He couldn't wait any longer and that's why he decided to take the razor across his wrist.The social butterfly died inside, unable to process the loss of his loverthe next day at school they learned of his suicide.the sun set on that dreary day.The social butterfly died inside, unable to process the loss of his loverIt was a party to signify the beginning of the summer. Two lovers were once entwined like vines.the sun set on that dreary daytheir worlds were different, yet on that night they formed into one.