Fears

I've noticed over the past two weeks or so that i need to hear from my friends, and until recently i figured out why. Its because of my fear of losing them, and i realise how stupid that sounds, but without my friends, I'm a nobody i wouldn't be even as close as i am with anybody if it werent for the people who stuck with me and loved me as much as i love them, and this blog is for them the people who helped define who i am today and the people who helped me come to terms as to who i was and especially the friends who helped me take pride in who i am! I love you all :D

Last night a good friend of mine passed away, after battling cancer his whole life, being mentally impaired and an individual withing the LGBT community, he died of Pneumonia, Last i heard he had gastric bleeding but the pneumonia was getting better, to wake up to a text about his death, it was heart wrenching, I knew him through a mutual friend, and I had agreed to become his mentor in a way, he didn't have anyone within the LGBT community to talk to and so I agreed to talk to him, and be a listening ear, I try not to have any regrets and I think I succeed but not in this case, I Haven't emailed, or talked to will in sometime, and upon hearing of his death, I felt bead because I hadn't talked to him in so long, but as my friend izzy says he was a great individual who despite all his "bad luck" he never complained, he always found happiness somehow and I wish i could be half the man he was, but it still pains me, on a lighter note I received a message today about the Chicago Tribune article i was interviewed for! Despite the darkness light shall come eventually :D

Cooking

Cooking is a staple of all hispanic heritages, but within mine, food is everything! the multitude of flavors, and of textures is just magnificant! If yiou couldn't tell already I LOVE COOKING!!! Even though i'm in school full time, everyday after class i come home to cook, yes occasionally it bothers me because there are 4 other adults who can cook too, but when i'm in the kitchen the smells, the sounds, the flavors, just over take me! It amkes me happy to see my families reactions, usually i just stick to pasta, and meats but recently i've evntured into the categorie of RICE! yes Rice the small grains which if not cooked properly can turn a meal into a disaster! so my first experience was AWESOME! (In my opinion) My brother, sister and nephew enjoyed it as well, which pleases me and so on todays menu is fried chicken breast, with Pinto beans, and White Rice! Hopefully All goes well again! (Crosses Fingers) :D

I find it funny

I find it extremely funny, how some people i meet can automatically determine my sexuality within several minutes of talking with me but others can't! The reason why i'm bringing it up is because i had a very intresting conversation with a girl from my Music Concepts class, as she was driving me home, due to the rain, she asked me "So whats your deal? Do you ahve a girlfriend? are you married? To which i responded no and no to have her ask oh well i have a couple of friends who you might like! To which she then cut herself off and asked "Do you ahve a boyfriend?" To which i responded "Not yet" which was quickly followed by her quick laughter and her quickly claiming me as her new Best Gay Boo. Huh and so I find it extremely funny how some people automatically know and others I have to tell. Thats my post for this evening another most likely coming tomorrow.

My feelings as of late

I recently wrote an article to my old schools newspaper detailing the events which led me to making the ultimate decision of transferring, and I've got to say i feel good and bad, I feel glad that I was able to bring to light the atrocious events, and my feelings toward the individuals i contacted for help as well as toward the individual who made the hateful comments toward me, but bad because I don't know people will react, so far i have gotten texts saying that it was fantastic, inspiring and a phone call from a dear friend asking me if i really felt that the administrators mishandled the cases, but what really is making it bad is, I feel as though I painted a picture of what i felt and saw, which was my point but i fear that in the end somehow, it will just blow up in my face, somhow, i have no clue if it will happen but again its just a feeling, This is my first blog and i hope to continue blogging for my sanities sake :)